18. Presence Is Personal

The people on your team know the difference between when you’re there and when you’re not.

And I don’t just mean physically in the room.

I mean fully present.

We’ve all been in the meeting where the leader is distracted.

Half listening.

Checking their phone.

Thinking about the next thing.

And the message it sends is crystal clear;

this moment, this person, this work…

doesn’t matter enough to have my full attention.

I’ve coached leaders who swear they’re present because they’re in the meeting.

But presence isn’t about being in the meeting

It’s about being in the moment.

It’s about reading the room, asking questions that matter, and signaling that the work and the people doing it are worth your best focus.

Hi, I’m James and you’re listening to the Leadership in 5 podcast.

This is the second of five episodes in the “It’s All Personal series” because excellence looks operational, but it’s always about people.

Let’s dive in…

Presence isn’t about being available all the time.

If you’re always available, you’re probably reacting,

probably too far into the details,

and potentially getting in the way of true progress.

And as we talked about back in Episode 5, The Bottleneck You Didn’t Mean to Build, that’s exactly how you become a roadblock for the development of others.

It’s about showing up with the intent to connect, understand, and move something forward.

When you’re truly present, people respond differently.

They ask more questions.

They volunteer their thinking.

They step into ownership because they know you’re engaged in what matters to them, not just what matters to you.

And here’s the part most leaders miss:

presence is how you actually lead with and through others.

That’s one way to define leadership:

learning how to work with and through people.

Presence is the entry point to that.

Think of it like the kitchen door in your home – that’s where trust deepens and real conversations happen.

Let’s unpack that further…

When you’re present, you see things others miss.

You hear the hesitation in someone’s voice when they say “we’re on track.”

You catch the spark in an idea before it gets buried in the agenda.

You notice the tension between two team members and address it before it turns into politics.

Founders have to be noticers.

Without presence, you can still hand out assignments.

You can still approve work.

But you can’t inspire commitment.

You can’t pull someone toward their best work.

You end up managing tasks instead of leading people.

And that’s when your influence starts to fade.

I’ve seen this play out in high-growth companies where leaders are running so fast, they treat presence as optional.

Now don’t miss this.. presence isn’t optional, it’s the multiplier.

It’s what makes your systems and strategy actually work,

because the people carrying them out know you’re engaged with them, not just the numbers.

Here’s where to start this week:

Choose one interaction — a meeting, a 1:1, a project review — and show up without distraction. No phone, no laptop, no split attention. Give them the best 20 or 30 minutes you’ve got.

Ask one question you’ve never asked before: What’s getting in the way of doing your best work right now? Then listen. And take one step to remove what they name.

Reflection questions:

When was the last time you were fully present for someone on your team?

Where are you physically present but mentally absent?

Who could benefit most from you being all-in this week?

Presence isn’t about being everywhere.

It’s about being fully there when it matters most.

And that’s worth thinking about today.