Episode 9

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Published on:

7th Aug 2025

How the Desperation Mindset Destroys Your Leadership

When the pressure rises, what kind of leader are you?

This episode explores the dangerous shift from tension to desperation, and how it rewires your leadership, your team’s trust, and the health of your entire system.

We’re not talking about a rough week... we’re talking about the slow, quiet erosion of clarity, culture, and conviction when survival mode becomes the default.

If you’re leading a company through real financial pressure — whether you’re at $5MM, $25MM, or $100MM — this is a wake-up call worth hearing.

Because your team can feel what you’re carrying. Even if you never say a word.

If you're a founder or executive who feels like you're just trying to hold it all together, this episode is for you.

We’ll unpack:

  • The invisible signals that tell your team you’re leading from tension
  • Why desperation kills trust faster than failure
  • How top performers respond to a culture of pressure and control
  • Why sustainable leadership requires margin, not micromanagement
  • A direct challenge to rebuild from steadiness, not stress

And a word of caution: If your company is stuck in survival mode by default, this podcast might feel like a wake-up call. That’s intentional.

Reflection Questions (from the episode):

  • What part of your leadership is being shaped by fear right now?
  • What have you stopped doing—or started doing—because you’re trying to survive, not lead?
  • Where is tension stealing trust from your culture?
  • And maybe most important… If your team could say one thing to you without fear… what do you think they’d say?

Bonus Reflection Questions (for deeper insight):

  • When pressure rises, do you become clearer or more controlling?
  • What would your team say you’re leading with right now—vision or tension?
  • What parts of your culture, your clarity, your consistency… are you willing to trade when fear takes over?
  • What would it look like to rebuild from steadiness instead of stress?

Links and Resources:

The right question changes everything. Grab the free Next Question Guide → NextQuestionGuide.com

Connect with James on LinkedIn → linkedin.com/in/jamesmayhew

Want to learn more or work together? → JamesMayhew.com

Transcript

Let’s talk about pressure.

Not the kind you can push through with a good playlist and a strong cup of coffee.

I’m talking about financial tension.

The kind that keeps you up at night.

That makes you question every hire, every delay, every expense.

Pressure that doesn’t care how successful you’ve been.

Because even at $5MM, $25MM, or $100MM+, the stakes can still feel fragile.

One industry shift.

One competitor’s pricing strategy.

One mistake you didn’t catch in time.

And now the whole business feels like it’s walking a tightrope.

When that pressure builds, desperation takes over.

Hi, I’m James and you’re listening to the Leadership in 5 podcast where leadership meets execution, one focused episode at a time. And today’s episode is the hardest-hitting episode I’ve written and recorded to date. Lean into it. Listen again. And if you want to reach out, I’m ready to discuss this, as long as you’re ready to lay it out.

Let’s unpack this. There’s the truth most people won’t say out loud:

Desperation doesn’t just kill leadership.

It kills clarity.

It kills trust.

It kills consistency.

It kills culture—quietly and slowly.

It shifts the energy of the whole company.

From belief to tension.

From coaching to commands.

From freedom and responsibility to control.

You feel it first.

But eventually… your team does too.

And they don’t always have the language for it—but they know something’s shifted.

The energy in meetings is different.

Every decision feels reactive.

Your tone gets sharper.

You start skipping the developmental conversations because the pressure feels more urgent than the people.

And the worst part?

Desperation becomes a pattern.

A way of operating. A new normal that no one really chose, but everyone starts adjusting to.

Until your best people leave.

And the rest stay quiet.

Because vision got replaced by survival.

And don’t miss this: no one wants to follow fear.

Now let me be honest. I’ve coached founders on both sides of this.

Some are under pressure—but still leading with clarity.

And some are underwater, running a company held together by duct tape, adrenaline, and hope.

And I’ll say this carefully and with as much dignity and integrity as I can:

If you’re leading from a place of constant desperation, I’m probably not the partner you need right now.

I don’t fix perpetual chaos.

But I do build successful systems with leaders who are ready to steady the foundation and move forward.

But I truly, respectfully, hope this episode helps you see the difference.

Because here’s what I know:

You can be honest about pressure without being driven by it.

You can make hard decisions without turning reactive.

And you can lead through uncertainty without defaulting to control.

It starts by naming it.

So here’s your reflection for today:

What part of your leadership is being shaped by fear right now?

What have you stopped doing—or started doing—because you’re trying to survive, not lead?

Where is tension stealing trust from your culture?

And maybe most important… If your team could say one thing to you without fear… what do you think they’d say?

Because that might be the turning point.

Not just for them… but for you too.

Thanks for listening.

And that’s worth thinking about today… and every day.

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About the Podcast

Leadership in 5
Lead better in 5 minutes. Tactical insights for founders who want clarity, momentum, and a business that doesn’t break them.
Execution without excuses. Five minutes. One insight. No wasted words.

Leadership In 5 is the podcast for founders and executives who are done with vague advice and tired of hearing “just communicate better” like it’s a strategy.

I’m James Mayhew. I’ve served as Chief Culture Officer, coached hundreds of leaders, and made the thousand-plus execution mistakes so you don’t have to. I work with high-growth companies that are scaling fast — but who still want to lead with values, not ego.

Each episode delivers one sharp insight you can act on. You’ll hear practical guidance built on clarity, not charisma. No theory. No fluff. Just real leadership tools that work in real companies with real people.

This show exists to help you stop over-functioning, stop repeating yourself, and stop holding it all together just to keep the wheels turning. You deserve a business that works without breaking you.

The show is grounded in The IDP Way, a leadership system built on Integrity, Dignity, and Prosperity. If those words resonate, you’ll feel at home here. And if they challenge you? Even better. Growth starts with honesty.

Want a free companion to the show?
Download "99+ Questions That Create Clarity" at NextQuestionGuide.com
It’s the simplest tool I know to start shifting your team from confused to confident.

Thanks for listening... and for leading.

About your host

Profile picture for James Mayhew

James Mayhew

James R. Mayhew is a leadership coach and strategic advisor to founders and executives building fast-growth, values-driven companies. He created the IDP Way, a leadership system grounded in integrity, dignity, and prosperity. James helps leaders align people, purpose, and performance so their business can scale with clarity, not chaos.

He’s served as Chief Culture Officer, coached hundreds of leaders, and built execution systems that actually work.